


you can hear it in the silence, you can feel it on the way home

by defendingtheearth



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, Season/Series 07, idk the entire premise is that they're dumb and in love, this takes place just before 7x22
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29643684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defendingtheearth/pseuds/defendingtheearth
Summary: “This is what I wanted to do that night,” he says softly, sliding his hand up to her face and slowly stroking his thumb across the smooth skin of her cheek. “This is what I should have done as soon as you came downstairs.”
Relationships: Josh Lyman/Donna Moss
Comments: 13
Kudos: 83





	you can hear it in the silence, you can feel it on the way home

**Author's Note:**

> hi! so this is the first fic i've published in nearly ten years which is SCARY but i couldn't stop thinking about how unfair it was that josh and donna never got to kiss in the snow. the snowball scene in 4x15 is one of my all time favourites so i hope you enjoy this small attempt at fixing the fact it didn't end the way most people expected, lol. please lemme know what you think xo

“There’s nothing wrong with a short walk back to your apartment.”

“Yeah, but you’re not exactly dressed for an expedition through the snow,” Josh points out, glancing pointedly down to her heeled boots and tight-covered legs but Donna just makes a hushing noise and pulls him along by their entwined fingers, leading them through his neighbourhood and away from their cab and its angry driver currently awaiting a recovery vehicle.

It’s the third week of January and the inauguration is pressing ever closer, a sort of manic frenzy beginning to infuse every action made by the new administration staff and – though Josh has actively been trying to keep his blood pressure down – the looming date comes hand in hand with a level of stress neither of them can fully avoid. Donna is, of course, handling every problem thrown her way with a grace that Josh doesn’t think he’ll ever manage to possess. She’s magnificent and he never tires of the flash of pride he feels whenever tale of her accomplishments reaches his part of the building or he sees first-hand the wondrous effect she’s having on the staff. 

Still, even her talent isn’t immune to the expected chaos of transition and there doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day. He and the President-Elect had been in meetings about Kazakhstan all afternoon and it had been pushing 9pm by the time Donna had appeared in his office doorway stating that it was time to leave. He didn’t even have the energy (nor, surprisingly, a great desire) to try and stay longer but now there’s little chance of them making it home before 10. Josh thinks longingly of the important plans he’d made in the cab for the remainder of the evening (eating leftover noodles and falling into bed with Donna) and resigns himself to a cold nose and soggy shoes for the foreseeable future. He can already feel the damp beginning to seep into his socks, but the weather conditions seem to not be phasing his suddenly adventure mad girlfriend in the slightest. He closes the short distance between them, marvelling at her impulsive determination, and quietly yearns for the warmth of the apartment that has finally begun to feel like home.

“So, do I dare ask how today went?” Donna begins, “I swear half the staff are on the verge of nervous collapse. I walked in on Ronna chanting the President-Elect’s title earlier and, while I admire her commitment to getting it right, I feel like someone needs to remind her that it’ll have changed again in just over a week.”

“I’ll add it to my to-do list,” Josh laughs, “it’s pretty short right now, not much else going on.”

“Oh, of course, I’m sorry. Must have slipped my mind how very clever and important you are.”

Josh preens slightly despite the evident teasing. “You’re talking to the soon-to-be second most important person in the country, baby.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure that’ll be the Vice-President but don’t let me rain on your parade.”

“You wound me.”

Donna rolls her eyes at him but she’s grinning, and he smiles in return as she leads him carefully around a particularly icy patch, gripping his hand tighter lest one of the falls. He can’t help but notice how wonderfully that parallels life – Donna consistently leading him away from trouble but always keeping him tethered to her and feels his smile grow even wider.

“I’m just saying,” Donna carries on. “The poor woman is going to have enough to worry about when trying to organise the President’s office, never mind obsessing over whether she’s calling him by the correct title.”

Josh pulls her in gently as she finishes speaking and presses as kiss against the side of her head. “You’re sweet and I’ll mention it if I notice her worrying again.”

“Thank you.”

“In answer to your original question though, we had hours of discussions about the plan for Kazakhstan that seemed to go round in never-ending circles but nothing particularly dramatic happened. How about your day?”

“It was pretty good! We had a meeting about how our education plans are going to line up with yours and arranged the timetable for the first few days in office.” 

Josh lets Donna’s voice was over him as they continue walking, responding whenever necessary but happy to just to listen to the wonderful work she’s been doing. There’s still a light flurry of flakes making their way down from the sky, their lazy decent making the glow from the streetlights flicker and casting strange shadows all around. He’s particularly taken with the way it makes Donna’s hair look simply radiant, the blond shining like spun gold when it catches the light, and he finds himself unable to break his gaze. The moisture in the air has begun to softly curl the ends and suddenly Josh is hit with such a powerful memory that he feels the breath catch in his throat. He’s no longer in transition to become Chief of Staff, but instead four years younger and teetering on the edge of something indescribable. There’s snow on the ground, recklessness in his veins and curled, golden hair glowing so perfectly in the streetlight that he swears he can feel the earth tilting momentarily off its axis. 

Donna is mid-sentence, so caught up in updating him on the progress she and Helen have made today that she carries right on even as he says her name.

“Donna.”

“- and then he tried to argue that this would be the best path to take but I just think that-”

“Donna,” Josh says again, more insistently this time and tugs her gently back towards him. He’s not sure what’s currently showing on his face, but she must finally catch sight of his expression because she immediately stops speaking and shuffles closer. Her left hand comes around to clasp his right, mirroring their other already entwined fingers and she gently strokes her thumb over his inner wrist.

“What’s wrong?” Her voice has dropped lower, and Josh feels a momentary flash of guilt for the worried expression he’s put on her face, but he still can’t seem to find the right words to explain the almost overpowering emotions he’s feeling.

He’s been slowly getting used to reeling from experiencing this new stage of their relationship but right now all he can do is stare into the blue of her eyes and try and calm his breathing. Hawaii had given them both the time to reflect and finally put into words what they wanted from each other but sometimes Josh still feels like he’s accidentally misjudged a step going downstairs, stomach swooping and head buzzing trying to readjust to the shock of finding himself so indescribably happy.

He opens his mouth to try and speak but pretty quickly closes it again and instead just slowly unwinds the scarf from around his neck and loops it around Donna’s, grabbing both ends and drawing her closer still. Near enough that he can count the individual flakes of falling snow on her eyelashes before she repeatedly blinks them away. All he can hear in the muffled stillness of the evening is her low breathing and the thundering of his pulse in his ears, grounding him to the present despite the memory that’s threatening to overwhelm him. Her eyes are wide and staring directly into his and Josh once again feels that swooping sensation in his stomach – the happiness bubbling up inside him so insistently that he can’t stop the smile that breaks out across his face. Her answering grin is tinted with confusion but still bright all the same and Josh thinks that he could easily stay like this for the rest of his life. This comforting thought is what finally steadies his pounding heart enough to encourage the words out of his mouth.

“This is what I wanted to do that night,” he says softly, sliding his hand up to her face and slowly stroking his thumb across the smooth skin of her cheek. “This is what I should have done as soon as you came downstairs.”

At the confusion that’s still plain in her eyes, he tries to clarify, shifting so he can cup her face in his hands and gently bring their foreheads together. Josh has been thankful for their similar height many times in his life but right now, being able to easily rub his nose softly against Donna’s and have her lips be only a hairbreadth away from his makes him appreciative all over again.

“I just… the snow and your hair and, you know, the inauguration and just… this is what I should have done four years ago.”

“Josh,” Donna replies softly, but the radiant smile that breaks out across her face at the explanation is worth all of his babbling. He can’t help but briefly press his mouth to hers, shivering slightly when she brings her hand up to gently scratch at the hairs at the nape of his neck and when he pulls back, he finds her eyes shining. 

“I don’t really know what I’m trying to say. You know I’m no good at eloquence when it comes to emotions but… God, Donna, you looked wonderous that night. I was running entirely on relief that you hadn’t said those things and a desperate need to make you understand that we couldn’t lose you and then you came downstairs and you were wearing that dress and it was like every single emotion I’d ever forced down came rushing to the surface. Every single excuse I’d ever used to explain away what I was feeling became entirely obsolete and all I wanted to do was just live in that newfound peaceful clarity,” Josh doesn’t know why he’s getting so worked up, knows Donna understands but he can’t seem to stop speaking. “I should have kissed you right there on your front porch and taken you home that night and never let you leave. Then things could have been different, and we’d have had years together and none of the bad would-”

He’s cut off by the sudden press of Donna’s mouth against his, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and shifting impossibly closer. His mouth falls open immediately and the first swipe of her tongue sets his pulse racing. She nips slightly at his bottom lip before sucking it into her mouth and he barely has the sense to stifle his groan. There’s a brief flash of thought in his mind that they’re in public and to keep it chaste before his entire being is focused on just one single thought: Donna. The cold of her nose against his cheek, the scratch of her nails against his scalp, the silky soft ends of her hair that he can’t seem to stop running through his fingers. She hums happily when he pulls back to rain kisses down the side of her jaw and it’s only when he starts nosing past his scarf to get to her neck does she drag his lips back to hers. After a few more long moments, they gradually begin to slow, Donna pressing a few closed mouth kisses against his lips before pulling back fully. Her pupils are blown wide and her hair has become even more unruly from his hands but the happiness radiating from her leaves Josh awestruck.

“You… are the most ridiculously wonderful man.” 

Josh opens his mouth to reply, still a bit stunned and not entirely sure if he’s going for teasing or grateful but Donna carries on before he can begin.

“That night was so important to me, Josh. To know that you valued me… that you didn’t want to lose me? It means more than I’ve ever properly said. And you’re right, it did feel like we were on the precipice of falling into something more, but we both know we needed to grow separately to get to where we are now,” she cups his face and moves him so he’s staring directly into her eyes. “And right now? Josh, right now is pretty amazing.”

He smiles and presses a kiss against the end of her nose, “You’re not wrong there.”

“I know we’re stressed and everything’s changing but I’m really, really happy. I wouldn’t replace what we have now for anything.”

“Me, too. I’m so indescribably happy, Donna… it’s just easy to wish we’d already had years together.”

“I know, but I’m so excited to have those years now.”

Donna runs her thumb along his brow before letting her hands fall from his face and Josh swears he can feel his heart constrict in his chest. He’s sure he’ll never get tired of being this close to her, sure he’ll be old and grey and still slightly dizzy from her close proximity. He thinks back to that January night and the thrill of being able to hold her in his arms every time they danced. He’d dragged her to the dancefloor at all eight balls, pulling her closer every time and trying not to stare for too long whenever they made eye contact. Josh smiles at the memory and shifts them so her hands are against his chest and his arms are around her waist, slowly beginning to sway on the spot. Donna sighs happily as soon as she realises his intentions and lays her head against his shoulder.

“From what I remember, this was a common occurrence that night.”

Josh chuckles, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure we both wanted to take advantage of the excuse to be near each other.”

“I was more than happy to be this close to you.”

“I kept having to stop myself from playing with your hair,” Josh replies, almost absentmindedly reaching up to run the strands through his fingers again.

“Yeah, I remember repeatedly forcing myself to not start messing with your bowtie,” Donna agrees and Josh grins as she begins to run the material of his current tie through her fingers.

“Well, my bowties have always been entirely your property. You should have gone right ahead.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for the future.”

They continue to sway, not moving much to avoid slipping on the icy ground but content for the brief period of peace. After a minute, however, it’s getting difficult to ignore the cold and Josh squeezes Donna to him gently before shifting back. Her fingers catch his chin before he can get too far and she leans up to press a lingering kiss to his mouth, humming when he presses back into her briefly. He mumbles a soft “I love you” against her lips and feels her smile in return, opening his eyes and pulling back slightly to find hers shining back at him.

“I love you, too. I did then and I do now.”

“Thanks for sticking around while I figured it out. Sorry that it took so long.”

“That’s okay, we’ve known for a long time that I’m the competent one in this relationship.”

Josh chuckles, “I will freely admit to the fact that you’ve been running rings around me ever since that first day in the campaign office.”

Donna grins back at him. “Well, I am pretty amazing.”

He hums in agreement and quickly presses his lips against hers once more before fully stepping away, casting a look around to see if anyone has noticed their exchange. Finding the surrounding street empty, he grabs her hand to begin walking when Donna giggles suddenly and he casts her a bemused look, getting even more confused as she begins to laugh harder.

“Luckily, we were alone right now but can you believe that in less than ten days time Secret Service agents are going to have to deal with us making out in public? They’re just going to have to stand to the side and try not to watch if we decide we want to start necking like teenagers in the snow.”

Josh lets out a laugh of surprise, watching as Donna bends down to check her hair in a car window. “Well, I’m pretty sure there’ll be less chance of us taking cabs that can break down and leave us stranded, but even the lawyer in me can’t begin to try and argue against the possibility of the rest.”

Seemingly content with her hair, she straightens and sets off, leaning to whisper - “exactly, you know there’s no controlling us, Wild Thing” - in his ear as she moves past. He outwardly groans, remembering the nickname from four years ago, and hears her snicker as she carries on down the sidewalk. Josh sets off after her, trying to pay attention to the snow on the ground but hurrying all the same. Donna’s already talking about stopping at the 24-hour convenience store for wine and, despite the chill in the air and the slush in his shoes, Josh knows he’ll follow her there. He’ll follow her anywhere, along any road life has to offer, for every year he has left. The night of the 2003 inauguration might have been when he’d started to realise his feelings, but as he catches up to Donna and pulls her into his side, Josh knows he’s far more excited to live the rest of his life sure of them.


End file.
